Clammy Hands

Matthew 19:

See, we are going up to Jerusalem. And the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief prists and scribes, and they will condemn him to death and deliver him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day. Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, What do you want? She said to him, Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom. Jesus answered, You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink? They said to him, We are able. He said to them, You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father. And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Tonight I was struck with the thought of Jesus looking ahead only a week. Everywhere he turns people around him are reminding him of what is to come. Mary anoints him with oil as king. The rich young ruler asks him how to obtain eternal life. I imagined how clammy my hands get as I look ahead to a competition or other event of nervousness. That impatient waiting for something that is coming to fast. The feeling of not wanting it to come, yet wanting to finish the task at hand. Lazarus has been raised from the dead. He has been teaching the Pharisees about the kingdom. The Jews are accusing him. All the while, He knows exactly what is to come.